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LUMPS OF COAL

SANTA CLAWS (1996)
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Directed By:
John A. Russo

Starring:
Debbie Rochon, Grant Cramer and Dawn Michelucci

Rated R
Genre: Slasher Horror
Format Used: None as of yet.
Contains: Graphic Language, Graphic Violence, Nudity, Sexual Content
Also Known As:
'Tis the Season

THE PLOT:

Yes, 'tis the season for holiday cheer and murder. For mega scream queen star Raven Quinn is about to make a little T & A flick but her neighbor Wayne is obsessed with her and is stalking her and plans on stuffing more then coal in the stockings of the people he feels has wronged her.

ZEDD'S OPINION:

What a load of crap, this movie has a lot of pretty girls taking their clothes off and dying, but that's about it. There's no real background on this Wayne guy, all we know is he loves a woman he barely knows for unknown reasons and will do anything to get her. Anything besides asking her out. The cover of the DVD has a guy dressed in a Santa Claus suit with a skull for the face, if they went that way it might have been somewhat cool, but they didn't. He's just wearing a beard. Debbie is a friend of mine and I advice her that she removes this piece of dog excrement off her resume. THE LUMP OF COAL!

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VOLTRON'S OPINION:

I couldn't agree more, this dung pile is just awful. Grant Cramer who plays Wayne goes way over the top with his performance. I don't know why he decided to go so intense with his performance but it doesn't help this gobbler only makes it worse. THE LUMP OF COAL as well.

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ON THE POSITIVE SIDE (+ HITS):

+ LOTS OF PRETTY NAKED GIRLS (There is plenty of pretty girls losing their clothes for the movie.)
+ DEBBIE ROCHON (She's good, but I advice her to remove this crapper off her resume.)

ON THE NEGATIVE SIDE (- MISSES):

- FILM QUALITY (Just awful.)
- STORY (Weak at best.)
- CHARACTERS (Very poorly written.)
- BACK STORY (What is Wayne's major malfunction?)
- ACTING (Everyone for the exception of Debbie was just awful.)

...AND FINALLY...

- ANYTHING I MIGHT HAVE MISSED (In case I missed anything in my rantings.)

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